Jak's Traks: The lives of others

Delhi, Friday 1 February 2013

Can you imagine being a grandmother by the time you're 30? That's the case for Mumtaz, the younger of the two sisters who work as maids for Rajan, the volunteer coordinator I'm staying with. Imagine how young both she and her daughter must have got married for that to be possible - very early teens. Mumtaz has five children and she lives somewhere nearby. The children apparently look after themselves while she spends all day at Rajan's, with the older ones taking care of the younger ones, I assume.

Meanwhile, her older sister, Nargis, has four children. Her husband died some ten years ago. Some of the kids are in Delhi, and some in Kolkata, with family, as I mentioned before. She's apparently saving up to pay a dowry so that her daughter can marry, which is many times what I imagine her annual salary must be. She must have almost nothing to spend on herself and her own needs. The whole family is separated, with Nargis forced to come to the big city to find work - a scenario that plays out in so many developing countries.

Neither of the sisters can read or write, and I imagine that having married so young their education would have been limited. Say goodbye for the rest of your life to any prospects of earning a decent income and breaking out of the situation you're in.

Nargis busy making me some bread to go with my dinner

Eh voila...

Nargis loves her soaps... after dinner in the evening, we sit for an hour or so, and shell peas or watch some family drama play out on the TV. I can't understand it, of course, but can take a stab at what's going on in the family group. The mother or mother-in-law always seems to be at the centre of it. It's high drama, with the camera flashing constantly from one angry face to another, as they all glower at one of their number - generally a young woman who's clearly done something they're not happy about. Nargis popped into my room yesterday evening while I was just chilling out reading a paper, and we tried to have a conversation. She seemed curious to know what my headtorch was, and we half-talked about earrings and other female adornments.

I gathered from Nargis that she's off to the mosque today, Friday - a Metro and bus ride from here towards the centre of Delhi. Rajan's wife further explained that Nargis will be meeting up with some of her children and friends, too. She looked lovely heading out this morning, with a dressier sari on - and smelling of some jasmine perfume that I'd given her the other day. I'd bought a box of six small bottles of this perfume oil when I first got to Delhi, and had found the jasmine one a bit strong. I showed it to Nargis to see if she liked it, which she seemed to. It smelled a whole lot better on her.

I'd another Hindi lesson today, with another to follow this evening. We're on to verbs now, and I've a batch to learn before tonight, so that Rajan can show me how to use them. I'm not sure how much time we'll get for a recap lesson tomorrow, as Rajan said that another batch of volunteers are showing up tomorrow and Sunday. It's a constant merry-go-round for him, and his family life. He's got a sore back, from sitting still to feed the baby and not getting as much exercise as usual, he said, and this morning's lesson was punctuated by him running up and down the hall and swivelling about on an exercise machine, to relieve his back a bit. You just have to take all this stuff in your stride.

A few random pics...